Feel It To Heal It: Why Your Emotions Matter
“You’re right… I was angry. So angry.”
My client’s eyes widened as she sat up taller, her voice rising with newfound clarity and a tinge of lingering anger as she recalled her boss yelling at her in front of colleagues.
“But… feeling angry is bad. I’m not an ‘angry’ person.”
Her shoulders slumped, voice softened, and worry flickered across her face.
As a therapist, I observe moments like these often—clients’ hesitation, internal conflict, and resistance to certain emotions. The voices of family members, peers, coworkers, and society may echo in the background, shaping clients’ beliefs about their own emotions. These messages are often judgmental: some emotions are deemed “good,” while others are “bad.” Certain feelings may be labeled as “weak” or “dramatic.”
Because of this conditioning, many people suppress their emotions, push themselves to stay constantly busy, or judge themselves for feeling a certain way. And I understand—some emotions are deeply uncomfortable. It’s human nature to want relief from distress. But when we avoid or criticize our emotions, we’re actually fighting against our biology, which can have long-term consequences on our mental and physical well-being.
The truth is, learning to acknowledge and accept our emotions without judgment is the first step in leading a life of intentionality.
Why Do We Have Emotions?
Emotions serve an essential purpose. Here’s why they matter:
They motivate us. Emotions drive behavior and prepare us for action, helping us navigate challenges in our minds and environment.
They communicate with others. Through facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice, emotions influence how we connect with those around us. Sometimes how we say something matters more than what we say.
They serve as communication with ourselves. Our emotions provide valuable insight into our experiences. That gut feeling? It’s a signal to pause and assess what’s happening.
They are part of our biology. Emotions arise automatically—we don’t choose them. However, we do have control over how we respond to and express them.
The Cost of Avoiding Emotions
When we suppress or ignore our emotions, we may experience unintended consequences, such as:
Feeling stuck in situations that make us unhappy
Avoiding significant experiences for fear of unwanted emotions
Harshly judging ourselves for feeling a certain way, increasing our distress
Letting emotions take over when they finally surface, instead of processing them gradually
Numbing all emotions—not just the painful ones, but the joyful ones too
Physical health issues linked to chronic emotional suppression
How Therapy Can Help
Acknowledging and embracing a full range of emotions can feel overwhelming—especially if you’ve spent years pushing them away. Therapy provides a supportive space to navigate this process by helping us:
Check the facts. Emotions are valid, but they don’t always need to dictate our actions. Therapy helps us ground ourselves and choose intentional responses.
Build emotional tolerance. Learning skills like mindfulness and distress tolerance can help us manage uncomfortable emotions without becoming overwhelmed.
Cultivate curiosity and self-compassion. Instead of judging our emotions, we can approach them with curiosity—viewing them as signals rather than threats.
Use emotions as motivators towards change. We can learn to recognize emotions as valuable sources of motivation and information, allowing us to make choices that align with our needs and break free from unhelpful patterns or situations.
Emotions are not our enemies; they are essential parts of who we are. Through therapy, we can learn to approach our feelings with curiosity, accept them as a valuable source of information, and navigate life with greater clarity and resilience.
Written by Reagan Leibovitz, LMSW
If any of this resonates, please reach out! We have a team of trained clinicians who would be honored to be a part of your journey.
To connect with me directly: https://www.theandwaytherapy.com/reagan-leibovitz
