Values-Based Living: How to Live in Alignment With What Matters Most
What Values Are and Why They Matter
Values: one’s judgment of what is important in life.
Every day is made up of a series of choices, both large and small, that slowly shape the direction of our lives over time. But how often do we pause to consider what is actually guiding those choices? What is the compass directing our path?
It is shocking how often we don’t really know the answer to that question.
We move through the world how we have grown accustomed to, influenced collectively by the Americanized “air” we all breathe, our historical backgrounds and environment, beliefs, and lived experience. We pattern our lives with rituals, rhythms, symbols, and expectations, and often unknowingly.
That is where values work becomes meaningful.
Living in alignment with your values offers the opportunity to move away from autopilot and into more purposeful intentionality. It increases your chances of showing up in the world the way you would actually like to.
How to Clarify Your Personal Values
A few helpful ways to gain clarity on what you currently value so you can begin living it out:
One simple place to start is with a values checklist or reflection exercise that helps you identify what matters most right now. Narrowing your list down to three to five values can often create more clarity and direction.
Questions to Help You Identify What Matters Most
You might reflect on questions like:
How do I want my loved ones to remember me?
When do I feel most alive, and what am I prioritizing in those moments?
What traits do I most admire in people I respect?
What makes me feel proud of myself, even when no one else sees it?
Clarifying your values does not mean you will always act on them perfectly. It simply gives you a clearer reference point for the choices in front of you.
How to Live in Alignment With Your Values
Values are not meant to be rigid; they fluctuate as seasons of life change and evolve with you as priorities or goals shift.
This is not an all-or-nothing concept. Rather, values are things to bring to mind and move toward as we navigate daily life.
By working towards living in alignment with your values, you create a stronger sense of self-awareness and identity, so daily decisions begin to match more consciously to the kind of person you want to be.
As you clarify your personal values, you may also begin to notice how fluid and dynamic they are based on your current priorities and circumstances. They can change over time and are meant to evolve with you.
This can also make it easier to understand how other people’s values may look very different from your own. And that is okay. That does not automatically make one person right and another wrong. Their values may simply lie elsewhere.
This is one place where we can lean into The And Way, acknowledging the nuance in people’s decisions and creating more room for understanding, both for ourselves and for others.
Values Work for OCD and Anxiety
If you were a fly on the wall in the therapy room with me, you could almost certainly count on hearing me say, “if we can’t control our thoughts and feelings, then what do we do with them?”
At first, this can sound like a daunting statement.
OCD sufferers are experiencing distressing thoughts, and all they want is to find a way to relieve or get rid of the thoughts and/or confirmation that it doesn’t mean something about who they are as a person.
Anxiety sufferers are dealing with immense internal tension that is hard to sit with, as there is an overestimation of threat and an underestimation of resources occurring.
But the key here is that the sufferers did not ask for the thoughts or uncomfortable emotions to begin with.
And often, they have already tried a plethora of things to find relief, whether mulling it over in their heads or taking outward actions, to find ease and relief from the obsessive thoughts and anxiety. And ironically, these attempts often move the sufferer farther away from what is important to them in life and how they want to be or live as individuals.
Here is where deliberate values work comes into play and how values help with anxiety and overwhelm.
Rather than being pulled entirely in the direction of your thoughts and internal experiences, values create a pause. They help you make decisions in alignment with who you are, not just in reaction to your struggles.
Values work offers OCD and anxiety sufferers agency and hope in their lives, giving a map for how to navigate difficult internal experiences without giving up what is important to them.
And although that makes sense in theory, it may sound or feel like it is not possible, as the content of anxiety and OCD is loud and scary and feels like it needs a resolution, preferably now.
This is where tangible tools to move towards values in therapy are essential.
How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Supports Values-Based Living
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy is an evidence-based treatment for both anxiety and OCD.
Instead of focusing on the distressing content of one’s thoughts, which has likely been tried and didn’t work, ACT offers a radically different approach.
The sufferer learns tools for increasing psychological flexibility, mindfulness, ways to drop the struggle, and take value-based action.
What this means is you do not have to wait until OCD or anxiety doesn’t exist to begin living in alignment with your values.
In fact, learning how to live this way often changes your relationship with those symptoms over time. Rather than organizing your life around fear, discomfort, or urgency, you begin making room for your internal experience while still moving toward what matters most.
Moving Toward a More Values-Based Life
If you want to find ways to decrease struggle and pivot towards a more value-based life, consider scheduling a session with me.
I offer online therapy and have specialized training to treat both anxiety and OCD. I can help offer clarity and tailored tools for your unique experience to help make living out your values feel within reach and more sustainable.
Written by Jackie Ward, LMSW
Jackie Ward helps clients navigate OCD and anxiety using evidence-based approaches like ERP, ACT, and I-CBT. She is passionate about helping people feel less alone in their struggles and more empowered in their healing. Jackie’s approach is compassionate, thoughtful, and grounded in the belief that meaningful relief is possible.
To schedule with Jackie directly: click here.
Related Reading:
If you found this helpful, you may also like:
Why Finding the Right Therapist Matters: OCD vs. Trauma and When They Overlap
Understanding OCD: Navigating the Intricacies of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
What is the Right Treatment for OCD? Understanding ERP, I-CBT, and ACT
