Psychological Flexibility in Therapy: How The And Way Model Shapes Our Practice
The And Way model is something I live by both personally and professionally.
At its core, it is a practice of psychological flexibility. It asks me to look at the two either/or extremes often offered to us and find my place somewhere on a wider spectrum of possibilities.
Again and again, The And Way has taught me to move toward both/and thinking, in my work, my relationships, my beliefs, and my own internal conflicts.
At The And Way Therapy, this model shapes more than how we think about conflict or healing. It also shapes how we think about access, care, relationships, and what it means to build a therapy practice that can hold complexity.
Moving Beyond Either/Or Thinking
My professional career has been marked by choices where, time and time again, I’m finding my place somewhere on the spectrum that isn’t on one extreme or another.
First, it began with working at a harm reduction medication-assisted treatment program where, rather than abstinence versus chronic opioid use, clients were engaged in an intensive treatment model while doing medication management like Suboxone.
That early experience showed me that healing often requires more than choosing one side of a simplified debate. It taught me to look for the space where care, accountability, and complexity can all exist at once.
My first year as a full-time social worker, my take-home pay was $16,000. I had ZERO vacation time. Not a single day off.
I looked over at the private practice owners I knew charging hundreds to cash-pay-only clients and thought that looked like such a dramatically different population and type of work that I didn’t want to work in.
Yet, the burnout from community mental health was unsustainable.
I felt caught between two extremes: the underpaid, overextended world of community mental health and a private practice model that felt inaccessible to many of the people who needed care.
In response to the Pulse and Parkland shootings while living in Orlando, Florida, I felt passionately that both guns and mental health reform were desperately needed.
Again, I found myself resisting the pressure to choose one side of a simplified conversation.
I started my practice to address these extreme options. My in-between took form in my decision to open an accessible, high-quality mental health therapy practice.
This is why, at The And Way Therapy, we persist through all the insurance headaches to be in network for our patients and why we have a range of private-pay rates to create access.
Psychological Flexibility in Clinical Work and Personal Life
Next, I began working primarily with patients with OCD, trauma, and eating disorders, where mental flexibility is a core skill developed during the healing process using evidence-based practices like ACT and EMDR-IFS.
Over time, this way of thinking moved beyond my work and into my own life.
While on a long health journey, I tried to narrow down food sensitivities. My own relationship with food sparked the use of my both/and language more clearly.
I can enjoy food and I can value nutrition.
I can eat this food because it’s got nutritional value and I can eat this other food simply because it tastes amazing.
I continued to incorporate “and” into every nook and cranny of my mind.
I expanded.
Both/And Thinking and the Way We See People
Once I started practicing this internally, I began to notice how often we reduce people, including ourselves, to one narrow description.
This mindset continued into every interaction I had, refusing to look at myself, my clients, or loved ones as all one label.
I no longer applied trivial shorthand to myself or others.
I’m not a people-pleaser; I may have a pattern of people-pleasing I’m addressing.
He’s not an asshole for that one thing he did.
She’s not a brainwashed fool for following that candidate.
The And Way asks me to pause before reducing a whole person to one behavior, one belief, one mistake, one diagnosis, one vote, or one moment.
This is part of how we understand therapy through The And Way model: people are not one symptom, one diagnosis, one conflict, one trauma response, or one moment in time.
Psychological Flexibility in a Divided World
A personal photo from Kelsey reflecting perspective and psychological flexibility.
In 2020, I witnessed our world grow far too comfortable with the labels that distanced us into resentful tribes.
I applied the same tools we use in the therapy room: ACT, DBT, EMDR, IFS, and ERP.
I used psychological flexibility, parts language, dialectics, and a tolerance for discord to challenge my simplest thoughts.
I decided complexity and discomfort would be worth it to yield depth in relationships, peace while holding the tension of inner conflict, and even collective healing to political polarization.
What began as a clinical skill became something much larger.
The And Way as a Path Toward Peace
The And Way is a path toward peace that involves skill-building in order to engage in tough decisions and uncomfortable conversations.
The And Way was initially developed for clinical application. It became a personal mindset to navigate all internal and external conflict.
For me, psychological flexibility is not just a therapy concept; it is the foundation of The And Way and the path I keep returning to when the world feels divided, complicated, and hard to hold.
If you want to understand more about the model behind our practice, you can learn more about The And Way model here.
Frequently Asked Questions
About The And Way Therapy
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At The And Way Therapy, accepting insurance is one way we try to live out the both/and values behind our practice.
We believe therapy can be high-quality and more accessible. We know insurance can be complicated, time-consuming, and frustrating for providers, but we also know that cost is one of the biggest barriers that keeps people from getting care.
That is why we persist in being in a network for many of our patients, while also offering a range of private-pay rates when insurance is not the right fit.
This reflects The And Way model: we are often trying to hold more than one truth at the same time. Therapists need sustainable practices, and clients need access to meaningful care.
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The And Way model shows up in therapy through psychological flexibility, both/and thinking, and a willingness to hold complexity.
In therapy, this may look like learning to make space for different parts of yourself, practicing new ways of responding to conflict, or recognizing that you are not defined by one symptom, diagnosis, relationship pattern, or painful experience.
You can read more about The And Way model and how it shapes our approach to therapy.
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The And Way is not one single therapy method. It is a framework that draws from evidence-based approaches like ACT, DBT, EMDR, IFS, and ERP.
It helps us think about healing, relationships, internal conflict, and difficult conversations with more flexibility, compassion, and depth.
Written by Kelsey Blahnik, LCSW-S
Kelsey Blahnik, LCSW-S, is an author, clinician, and advocate committed to bringing peace and justice into our politically divided world. With extensive experience in behavioral health, including work with substance abuse, unhoused individuals, and veterans, Kelsey has witnessed the impact of division on communities. She is the owner of a thriving online group therapy practice, The And Way Therapy, and author of the book The And Way: Assertive Peacemaking in a Divided World.
Outside the therapy room, you’ll usually find her reading, hiking, or enjoying matcha.
